“The only thing keeping you from getting what you want are the stories you’re telling yourself about why you can’t have it.” Tony Robbins
Top producers have an unwavering belief in their ability to achieve the goals they set for themselves. Absolute faith in your ability to achieve the results you want is a must if you want to move forward. Faith is described as the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen. You must believe, wholeheartedly. You must have complete faith that you can achieve whatever you put your mind to achieving. That certainty allows you to be, and act in a, fearless and powerful manner rather than fearful and powerless.
As children, we’re all taught certain things about the way the world operates and our thought patterns develop as a result of these influences. Our belief system is a habitual thinking pattern that we learn as children. Our parents teach us how to behave in certain situations, how to react to other situations; we learn how they think and, in most cases, unconsciously adopt those thought patterns as our own. Our teachers, friends, religious leaders, or other influencers in our lives may teach us how to think about a wide variety of issues and topics. This begins to set the pattern of the way in which we think and the biases with which we view things, including establishing our base fears.
Our beliefs, or paradigms, therefore, will either determine or restrict our ability to act, to get where we want to. I had the great good fortune the other day to listen to a gentleman named Bob Proctor speaking about paradigms. He made a statement with which I wholeheartedly agree; “To be able to shape your future, you have to be willing and able to change your paradigm.”
In other words, if you truly want to move toward reaching a goal, you must be willing to change the way you think about the things preventing you from achieving it; you must undergo what’s known as a paradigm shift. Your achievements are limited only by your belief in yourself, your paradigm.
“Believe in yourself, and the rest will fall into place. Have faith in your own abilities, work hard, and there is nothing you cannot accomplish.”
Don’t be a victim of what Zig Ziglar called “Stinkin’ Thinkin’.” It’s a pattern of self-defeating thoughts and self-destructive and self-limiting behaviours. These behaviours stop us from reaching the goals we want to achieve. It’s known as Expectation Bias. We expect to fail, so we do.
“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.” Honoré de Balzac
The way to change a paradigm is to stop giving it such power, to stop allowing it to have such a paralyzing grip on you. However, it’s not as simple as not thinking about them. Recognize that we’ll always have negative thoughts and self-talk. Trying not to think about them, though, actually has the reverse effect, it makes you think about them even more.
Try this. I want you to think about something. But while you do, you MUST avoid thinking about a blue tree. Whatever you’re thinking about, don’t think about a blue tree. Now, what happened? How much were you able to think of the original idea and how much did the blue tree invade your thoughts?
There’s no point in trying to prevent the negative thoughts. We have to recognize when we’re having them and then deal with them.
Overcome the Negativity
So, how do you deal with those nasty negative thoughts? Your first step is to recognize when your self talk is creating a barrier to your progress. Do your thoughts stop you from doing the things you need to do? Recognizing when these thoughts are happening is critical to being able to manage them. Recognition allows you to take the second step, redirecting your thoughts, when they occur, from the negative to the positive and focusing on your strengths and abilities.
Next, you need to understand what your triggers are. Triggers are an experience or a sensation that sets off a memory or a thought process and thereby an action. It’s a conditioned reflex. Think of Pavlov’s dogs being trained to salivate at the sound of a bell ringing. The bell was the trigger for a specific response. What experiences automatically cause you to think about something and react in a certain way? Once you’ve been able to recognize these triggers, you can then either avoid them or recognize when they’re happening and thereby interrupt the process before it gets fully underway and drags you off course.
And one of the most common causes of triggers is the negative attitudes of the people we surround ourselves with. Avoid surrounding yourself with toxicity. Stop listening to toxic people whose very presence can induce negativity. Toxic people wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. There’s an old saying that misery loves company. Toxic people want others to join their pity party so they can feel better about themselves. And then there are others who seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons.
Eliminate this source of frustration and stress from your life. However, reducing the effect of toxic people is difficult on your own. You need to be able to tap into your support system, the supportive and passionate people in your life who can inspire you and bring out the best in you. They’ll help you gain perspective on those less than desirable people around you because they’re not as emotionally invested in the situation. Identify these people in your life and seek out their insight and assistance when you need it.